Navigating the Holidays:
Family Resources for a Smooth Season!
The holiday season is a chaotic time for all families, but even more so for those with children who have social, emotional, and behavioral difficulties. Routines are apt to be thrown out the window, everything seems to be overstimulating, and extended-family dynamics are often introduced into the mix.
On December 18th, ASPIRE Center's Dr. Alyson Sheehan joined a live broadcast on Doctor Radio's About Our Kids to discuss holiday preparation for families managing Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD). In an effort to support families throughout the 2015 holidays, we have compiled our most helpful tips and strategies for navigating common holiday concerns.
As always, the ASPIRE clinical team is available to provide individualized guidance and work with your family in developing the most effective tools during the holidays and far beyond! Contact us by phone (631-923-0923) or email (info@aspirecenterforlearning.com) to schedule a consultation.
On December 18th, ASPIRE Center's Dr. Alyson Sheehan joined a live broadcast on Doctor Radio's About Our Kids to discuss holiday preparation for families managing Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD). In an effort to support families throughout the 2015 holidays, we have compiled our most helpful tips and strategies for navigating common holiday concerns.
As always, the ASPIRE clinical team is available to provide individualized guidance and work with your family in developing the most effective tools during the holidays and far beyond! Contact us by phone (631-923-0923) or email (info@aspirecenterforlearning.com) to schedule a consultation.
Pre-Holiday Preparations
- When it comes to putting together a festive atmosphere at home, not all decorations are created equal.
- Be mindful of sensory aspects, even those that may be seem very subtle to a person who is neurotypical. The scent of a christmas tree, sight of blinking lights, and sound of jingle bells can be intolerable for some individuals with ASD.
- Any shift in environment can create stress. Rather than overhauling your home for the holidays, make decorative changes gradually.
- Encourage your child's participation, even if it means thinking outside of the box. All of us have strengths that can be channeled into a "job," whether it involves creating ornaments, choosing the holiday tunes, or making sure that all of the stockings are hanging straight!
- Holiday traditions may be misperceived as odd, intimidating, or even threatening (Burning candles?! A stranger coming down the chimney?!). Provide clear explanations about your family's traditions, and consider remaining open to modifications or additions based on feedback from your child.
- Busy lives often interfere with spending as much time with our relatives as we would like, and people can change quite a bit over the course of a year. Review extended family members' characteristics, appearances, and interaction styles with your child and vice versa.
- View recent photographs before a family gathering to ensure that your child is familiar with each person who will be present.
- Determine and practice the appropriate greeting for each individual.
- Consider putting together a concise and objective outline or email for your family members that identifies any plans or considerations that will help ensure an uneventful gathering. Anxiety will be reduced all-around if there is consistent understanding of your child's triggers, best responses to meltdowns, and topics of special interest.
- Incorporate as many visual references as possible.
- Use social stories to introduce your child to different components of holiday celebrations.
- Create a schedule, booklet, or electronic photo album that provides the step-by-step sequence of events, from waking up in the morning, to welcoming relatives to your home, to getting through courses of a meal.
- If you will be attending a holiday gathering at the home of another family member, ask him or her to send over some photographs of how the house will be situated.
- Consider devising a "signal" that can be used if your child needs a break, since it is often difficult to use effective verbal communication as distress escalates. Hand gestures, index cards, and catch phrases can all encourage self-monitoring. Similarly, it will provide you with the opportunity to suggest a break or coping strategy if you detect signals that your child is becoming overwhelmed or agitated.
Getting Through the Big Day
- Preparation is key.
- Review the anticipated sequence of events several times before the actual event. Ensure that your child has a reference on hand throughout the day itself as well.
- Create a checklist that enables reference for all items that you must have on-hand, from dishes that you will be making to medications that should be packed.
- Put together a take-along (or stay-at-home) toolkit that contains special snacks or meal substitutes, sensory material, headphones/earplugs/sunglasses if needed, and preferred activities.
- Expect the unexpected.
- If we know one thing about our kids, it is that their behavior can be incredibly inconsistent. Work with treatment providers to identify strategies to address any crises and anticipate and "glitches" that may arise.
- Cut yourself a break. It is impossible to plan for every single scenario that may present itself, so as long as safety is preserved, do your best to sit back and appreciate the holiday blessings.
- Utilize travel resources.
- Many airports offer maps and even "rehearsals" for individuals with disabilities who may have concerns about flying. Check with your airline for information about legal rights for passengers with disabilities and any programs or supports that may be available.
- Plan for ample distraction (hello electronic devices!) and reasonable breaks during long car rides. Bring along pillows, blankets, and any other household items that may increase your child's comfort and promote relaxation during the trip.
- Consider dietary needs and preferences.
- Put together a "practice" holiday meal to identify which foods your child will and will not eat.
- Bring along back-up just in case grandma's mashed potatoes are not nearly as acceptable as mom's!
- Set your child up for success.
- Ensure that there is a safe "break space" available to your child. This outlet for a brief "escape" can become a make-or-break resource when it comes to meltdowns.
- Provide reinforcement and incentives throughout the course of the day. Often we become so concerned that our children will engage in inappropriate behavior that we forget to acknowledge all that they are doing well!
The Big Letdown
- Preparing for the transition back from the holidays is just as important as doing so beforehand. Many children are resistant to returning to school-day routines and demands.
- Continue to use visual schedules and references for the transition following the holidays, even if it will be the same routine that your child was previously adjusted to.
- Despite feeling relief after the holiday stress has subsided, we also tend to experience the "letdown" after holidays are over. Develop something that your child - or even your whole family - can look forward to shortly after the typical routine has been resumed. Plan an after-school outing or weekend activity as an incentive for all!
- Do not forget, or underestimate the importance of SELF CARE!
- We all have a predisposition to overextending ourselves during the holidays (not to mention the rest of the year!). Caring for ourselves is not only essential to parenting to the best of our ability, it also constitutes the best possible model for our children. Even just a few minutes of "me" time can provide the little re-charge we need.
Links and Resources
- Creating and Using Visual Supports
- Christmas Activities and Social Stories for Children with Autism
- Holiday Eating Tips
- Travel
- Discussing Autism with Family Members:
- Digital Tools and Applications:
- Choiceworks - create routines and schedules to engage your child in preparation and task completion
- WordSLapPs Vocabulary - intended to be used for teaching vocabulary words using photographs, can be helpful for holidays by uploading images of unfamiliar family members to learn names and other helpful information
- KidsVideo - compile a "playlist" of YouTube and other videos before departing for travel
- Kid in Story Book Maker - create a "story" about the upcoming holiday with your child as the main character... or reminisce after the holidays have ended to create memories that can be shared!